Funny Tweets of the Week – No 43
A new find this week in @nudinits which is the single greatest use of knitting. It’s always tough to beat the great wordsmith @brian_bilston, but I think the winner this week is @CrowfootJim, because I am a child.
Let me know which your favourite is.
At this time of year don't forget to check leaf piles and bonfires for hedgehogs. They make a lovely stew or pie. @TwopTwips
— Visit Wakefield™ (@Visit_Wakefield) October 26, 2017
Ms Primm, the chairperson of the Lovers of Eye-Watering Anal Club, has reluctantly resigned
“I’ve just had it up to the back teeth” she said
— Jim Crowfoot (@CrowfootJim) October 26, 2017
Alternative names considered for Twitter were FriendStalker and Throbber.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) October 26, 2017
[sending smoke signals]
— mo (@chuuew) October 18, 2017
ME: I got us a custom headstone!
WIFE: I'm not being immortalized in one of your dumb jokes
ME: Just read it
WIFE: "Tomb it may concern…"
— Scary Terry F (@daemonic3) October 23, 2017
— nudinits (@nudinits) October 16, 2017
I fall and drown in the lake. They pull out my body. "It's so bloated and grotesque" says one. "He only fell in a minute ago" says another
— John Darby (@mrjohndarby) October 22, 2017
Here’s a poem which is – to all intensive purposes – about misheard / misinterpreted phrases or ‘eggcorns’.
It’s called “On Tender Hooks”. pic.twitter.com/JNqdYpffzE
— Brian Bilston (@brian_bilston) October 24, 2017
A message for my old IT teacher, who said I fail "at even basic tasks":
— Ben (@0point5twins) October 24, 2017
julius caesar (dying after being stabbed 23 times): please…name a salad after me
— Hippo (@InternetHippo) October 21, 2017